Dead Hamsters Anyone?

15/02/07 01:51 Filed in: About Us


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Hamsters? Have anyone of you had them as a pet?? They’re like these small annoying little creatures which you want to crush as soon as you see them…they’re really not cute. Anyways, AJK was bored as usual (nothing pleases the guy and I mean nothing!! check out this site, he usually attempts these idiotic ideas out of boredom, you’ll probably enjoy it (http://beseechfanclub.com/bored/). This time, he decided to buy hamsters from the pet store nearby as a present to all the guys in OZ’s place. He brought these tiny colored hamsters to the apartment as a surprise (nobody liked the surprise; believe me it was just him that felt ecstatic). They were 4, 3 female (3abla, snowy and I forgot the last one’s name, I remember it had something to do with Mac) and 1 male (3antar). 3antar and 3abla were colorful (3antar was a grayish color while 3abla was a brownish beige color) while the other 2 were really dull (both were fully white like lab rats with red beady eyes.) Anyways, at first, they were friendly and I seemed to have a change of heart. We fed them everyday and we even bought them a new cage that has a small house and a running wheel. They seemed settled in their new home and everything was going according to plan. After a while (I mean a day or 2), the hamsters started to become rather irritating (especially the shitty 3antar)… cuz they broke the wheel from the first hour and it started making squeaky noises. My God, the noise was intolerable! They would not stop and they kept on using the wheel over and over while the noise gets louder and louder until one day we decided to stop this nonsense and remove the wheel. They went back to being the cute innocent little ones like the first day we brought them. For their reward, OZ decided to release them from their misery and let them have some fun so he took them to the balcony and placed them on the ground. From the moment they set foot on the ground, I sensed there was something wrong; they stood still and started shivering. They seemed cold so we took them inside and put them back in their cage and they still wouldn’t move. OZ assumed that they were still cold so he took the cage and placed it near the heater. And then my friends the unthinkable happened! The hamster massacre!! Keep in mind people that this is worse than anything you have ever imagined probably worse than 9/11! All of them stuffed themselves into one side to avoid the cold. They started waking around but that shitty 3antar (bastard) had something else up his sleeve. This innocent little darling turned out to be worse than AJK! He got so bored that he started eating 3abla!! That shitty bastard starting to chew the flesh and blood was spilling all over the place! It was like a battle field! Something had to be done cuz 3antar didn’t stop and continued to eat her! Sweet little 3antar was a cannibal! OZ intervened by bring in reinforcements in the shape of a deodorant (what was he thinking??) he sprayed some on 3antar but the devil wouldn’t stop and blood continued to spill! The other 2 hamsters (lab rats) were rooting 3antar on, they were jealous of 3abla and when you focus you could see the other clapping and making noises as if telling 3antar, don’t stop kill her. MHB also joined in and he came up with the stupidest idea ever, worse than the deodorant, he started kicking the cage!! (Who would think of such a thing?) but it still didn’t work so the last resort was to throw in some tobasco and ma3boch on him because of course that would be the best solution, not only that but MHB thought what the hell why not throw in a couple of darabeel to calm the situation down- they were stable so that was the best way to get rid of them (they didn’t think that removing 3antar from the cage would be the ideal solution cuz spraying deodorant and tobasco on him was way better.) When the tobasco, darabeel, ma3booch and deodarant fiasco was all over, (they might as well throw in a couple of chairs as well to stop him) 3abla was already gone and 3antar started shivering and making funny noises. He started fidgeting with his nose and started jumping up and down the cage all from the tobasco! It started to sting him and the bastard went crazy! He was climbing up the cage’s walls and running like a mad man, and after a few minutes he settled down and knew he did a terrible mistake so he looked at OZ with his beady eyes and bowed to him begging for forgiveness, he even offered OZ his lettuce but it was too late to be sorry 3antar. He should’ve thought of that before the dreadful massacre. In the end, OZ was not lenient at all and the verdict was in, all of them should be executed! (meaning giving them to the doorman and taking them back to the pet store.)
That was the end of the dreadful little hamsters that harassed our lives and eventually ruined our relationship with AJK (it was all his fault).

P.S:
SAK and AJK’s grandfather was a tailor and now SAK figured out that he has the same exact talent by stitching hamster lover’s jacket (sorry I meant AJK) from his first try. Congrats SAK on your new hobby and from all the buzberry team we hope you’ll continue but don’t ever think of dropping out of college and becoming a full time tailor or else I'll place 3antar the cannibal on your bed to terrorize you.

Posted By:
AMK
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